I could talk about myself all day, but I won't.

My niece is my best friend and the owner of my heart
I love animals
I abhor meat-eaters
I like to lick a little bit 'o labia - courtesy of Lizzy the lezzy
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A magic carpet ride.

I've added a new section at the bottom of every feature for comments. Use them. You're allowed to vote too. Get involved. I insist.

I'm trying to be a real lawyer so I might not have the time to keep you as entertained as I usually do. Be fair! I'm just a little boy!
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Ellen played a bit of YouTube video that rocked my world. I had to investigate her and share my findings. I think she's the coolest chick alive and my future ex-wife. She goes by Karmin on YouTube, but Ellen called her Amy. Whatever her name is, she's talented.

How many sexual partners does it take to root you firmly in whore territory?

More than your age (10 | 55%)
Over 20 (5 | 28%)
Over 10 (3 | 17%)
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"It's a little bit horrifying just how quickly everything can fall to crap. Sometimes, it takes a huge loss to remind you of what you care about the most. Sometimes, you find yourself becoming stronger as a result, wiser, better equipped to deal with the next big disaster that comes along. Sometimes, but not always."



- Meredith -
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Oprah ruined my fun game. That bitch. I'm joking. Some housewife could shank me for saying that. LOVE Oprah. This is Lea T, the world's first tranny supermodel. She's really hot - if we disregard the whole penis thing.
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You know the deal

Manish girl (5 | 28%)
Girly boy (13 | 72%)

With great power comes great responsibility

If every lesbian had an Uncle Ben in her life, we wouldn't be a bunch of pussy-breath monsters. I say this with a great deal of affection, but bitches be loose, son!

Of course it's our own doing, but a good part of it is a result of limp-wristed parenting. Parents of little girls spend their lives hoping their sweet daughters won't grow up to be teenage moms so they secretly pray their lovelies turn out ugly, fat or asexual - okay, maybe that's just my approach to parenting. Anyhow, as a girl, you grow up scared that kissing boys will make you a mommy or that holding one's hand will give you cooties (this part is true). The older you get, the more suspicious your parents become of male friends and what it is you do on weekends or with whom rather.

Then something magical happens: you come out. This part isn't actually always magical, it gets nasty. But once the dust has settled, parents start slacking. All your life you've been told that sex before marriage is despicable and almost always leads to babies, but the sex your parents have lived in fear of has nothing to do with you. This is the problem: most straight people don't believe women can have sex without a man being in the room - apparently, we giggle in bed - so all the cautionary tales get canned swiftly and little lesbians are left to scissor one another in peace. I don't think you can grasp the enormity of this. You aren't believed to be having sex, why then would any parent worry? If you ask your mother about going on 'the pill', she gladly agrees 'cause she also noticed your new zits. Any boy found in your room is assumed to be gay or just pitied. Harry Potter wishes he had this much power!

Getting the bigger picture now? Lesbians are actually superheroines. Some are misguided whores wielding their powers with gay abandon - see what I just did there? I'm funny. What do these cat women of the world do? Spend all their free time between strangers' legs. Madness. And it's not that it isn't understandable, it is. You get to have intense intimate sex knowing that you aren't creating anything unwanted and that you form part of the demographic least likely to contract HIV/AIDS from a romp. Great. Everyone's happy for you. But even Spiderman had to apply a little restraint. He drove to work, he didn't spin a web around his cereal and pretend it was prey he'd just caught. He knew better 'cause his amazing uncle didn't get a vat of Raid, he taught him to be sensible with a few simple words: "With great power comes great responsibility." You don't even have to save any lives. Just don't be a freaking slut! That's it, no greater good. Most people would kill for such low expectations.

Turns out there was no moral to this, but it's not like you can unread it now. Sucks to be you.

you know you love me
xoxo
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“You know what really scares me? I liked being fucked up, now more than ever. Is that a kid thing or a family thing?”

- Becca -
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Are relationships really worth it?

Yes (8 | 35%)
No (15 | 65%)
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I wish I could clone Whitney from "The Real L Word". She does all the things that I like. Her dreads are amazing - because they're clean. Piercings, tats - I wouldn't be able to walk away. My version wouldn't be a douche though. And she'd be smarter, maybe even well-spoken - if her DNA wouldn't curdle.
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Kreayshawn is my latest obsession!The cutest pocket white girl ever and she's mad gangsta, son! I love her!
More of my favourite gangsta white bitch, Kreayshawn. I love her. I hope you love her too!
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I'm here, I'm queer, buy me a drink
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