I could talk about myself all day, but I won't.

My niece is my best friend and the owner of my heart
I love animals
I abhor meat-eaters
I like to lick a little bit 'o labia - courtesy of Lizzy the lezzy
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A magic carpet ride.

I've added a new section at the bottom of every feature for comments. Use them. You're allowed to vote too. Get involved. I insist.

I'm trying to be a real lawyer so I might not have the time to keep you as entertained as I usually do. Be fair! I'm just a little boy!
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Ellen played a bit of YouTube video that rocked my world. I had to investigate her and share my findings. I think she's the coolest chick alive and my future ex-wife. She goes by Karmin on YouTube, but Ellen called her Amy. Whatever her name is, she's talented.

How many sexual partners does it take to root you firmly in whore territory?

More than your age (10 | 55%)
Over 20 (5 | 28%)
Over 10 (3 | 17%)
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"It's a little bit horrifying just how quickly everything can fall to crap. Sometimes, it takes a huge loss to remind you of what you care about the most. Sometimes, you find yourself becoming stronger as a result, wiser, better equipped to deal with the next big disaster that comes along. Sometimes, but not always."



- Meredith -
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Oprah ruined my fun game. That bitch. I'm joking. Some housewife could shank me for saying that. LOVE Oprah. This is Lea T, the world's first tranny supermodel. She's really hot - if we disregard the whole penis thing.
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You know the deal

Manish girl (5 | 28%)
Girly boy (13 | 72%)
I've become increasingly aware of my mortality with each approaching birthday and every year I find myself further away from the person I'd like to be. Aging gracefully isn't about defyiing nature - although that is an important part - it's about becoming someone you won't be ashamed of. As I get older, these are the things I'd like to maintain and improve.
Knowing when to admit that I fucked up
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I've noticed that adults just don't know when to stop fighting and when to start apologising. Apparently, besides waist lines, pride grows with age too. We're all humans, that means we're fallible. The only cure for this is ability to acknowledge that the things we do have an impact on the people around us, whether they're young or old and, that to maintain peaceful co-existence, we have to choose our battles carefully.
Understanding that there's still a lot to learn
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The world doesn't stop changing once you've reached a certain age just to accommodate your gradual senility. This means that as long as you're still breathing, you can't sit back and think you know all that there is to know about life. I can't think of anything worse than not be able to see things from a different perspective if the current one isn't serving me well. If that means taking advice from someone half my age, I hope I'm willing to listen tentatively and take notes. Age isn't synonymous with wisdom.
Never getting too caught up in adulthood
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I'm playful by nature and I don't want to lose that. Apparently, I'm going to be a lawyer and I imagine that could rob me my child-like-ness (it's a word, trust me). What's the point of working hard and earning money if I'll never buy myself a pony? Where's the fun in wearing power suits if I'm not wearing hello kitty knickers under them? Growing up isn't going to be fun it means that I have to take myself seriously all the time. The thought that someone might actually think that I'm a real person is awkward enough.
Enjoying life before my friends start dying and I get scared
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I want to be an adventure-slut in my old age. Some people suddenly realise that they spent their glory years doing nothing but watching oppotunities pass them by. I want to travel and buy art and drink expensive wine in front of a fireplace or quit a job that makes me unhappy without regret. I don't ever want to feel trapped or like I haven't done anything significant.
Treating the people that I love well
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I often take the people that I care about for granted and I'm hoping that it's something I'll grow out of. I don't want to come home to a distant partner who has grown cold and resentful over the years or a dog that barks at me 'cause she doesn't recognise me anymore. I want my friends to know that even though we don't talk as much as we used, I'll do anything that I can to be there for them when they need me. Life without loving people in it isn't life.
Letting my woman know that she comes first - always
It may sound like territorial Alpha male bullshit, but there's nothing worse than loving someone more than they love you and feeling insecure about your position in their life. Assuming I don't end up a spinster, I want the woman in my life to know that I love her to death. And I mean it. I want her to know that she can trust me 'cause being with her means that I've attained perfection and I wouldn't fuck that up for anything. I want to be romantical like Alfalfa from 'Little Rascals".
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There's a good chance that I could end up a bitter old hag who swears a little children and bitches about everything. If that happens, just let me be. Don't bring this up. You could die. Plans don't always work out. Let me great dementia with my head held high.

xoxo
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“You know what really scares me? I liked being fucked up, now more than ever. Is that a kid thing or a family thing?”

- Becca -
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Are relationships really worth it?

Yes (8 | 35%)
No (15 | 65%)
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I wish I could clone Whitney from "The Real L Word". She does all the things that I like. Her dreads are amazing - because they're clean. Piercings, tats - I wouldn't be able to walk away. My version wouldn't be a douche though. And she'd be smarter, maybe even well-spoken - if her DNA wouldn't curdle.
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Kreayshawn is my latest obsession!The cutest pocket white girl ever and she's mad gangsta, son! I love her!
More of my favourite gangsta white bitch, Kreayshawn. I love her. I hope you love her too!
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I'm here, I'm queer, buy me a drink
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