I could talk about myself all day, but I won't.

My niece is my best friend and the owner of my heart
I love animals
I abhor meat-eaters
I like to lick a little bit 'o labia - courtesy of Lizzy the lezzy
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A magic carpet ride.

I've added a new section at the bottom of every feature for comments. Use them. You're allowed to vote too. Get involved. I insist.

I'm trying to be a real lawyer so I might not have the time to keep you as entertained as I usually do. Be fair! I'm just a little boy!
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Ellen played a bit of YouTube video that rocked my world. I had to investigate her and share my findings. I think she's the coolest chick alive and my future ex-wife. She goes by Karmin on YouTube, but Ellen called her Amy. Whatever her name is, she's talented.

How many sexual partners does it take to root you firmly in whore territory?

More than your age (10 | 55%)
Over 20 (5 | 28%)
Over 10 (3 | 17%)
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"It's a little bit horrifying just how quickly everything can fall to crap. Sometimes, it takes a huge loss to remind you of what you care about the most. Sometimes, you find yourself becoming stronger as a result, wiser, better equipped to deal with the next big disaster that comes along. Sometimes, but not always."



- Meredith -
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Oprah ruined my fun game. That bitch. I'm joking. Some housewife could shank me for saying that. LOVE Oprah. This is Lea T, the world's first tranny supermodel. She's really hot - if we disregard the whole penis thing.
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You know the deal

Manish girl (5 | 28%)
Girly boy (13 | 72%)

Dummies guide to being friends with a lesbian

I find that some of the "friends" I have don't quite know how to act around me. This is particularly stupid because I'd like to the think that I nurture real relationships and not fill the gay-friend quota. There isn't a need for there to be a stage in a friendship when someone accepts the way I am. Take me as I am from the start and save me the anguish of learning that you're an idiot once I've grown accustomed to your company.

So, to maintain a healthy friendship with the Clitoris Lesbianii in your lives, heed my warnings!

Be reasonable, not a paranoid nut!

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Friends like to make one another feel special. That's the whole idea behind the concept. Unless she's given you reason to believe that she likes you, relax. Your straight friends are affectionate, why can't she be too? She may compliment you and tell how awesome you are, but that doesn't mean anything other than that she appreciates that you aren't a douche. The world is full of those, don't increase their population. If she was attracted to you, she would steal glances and get moist around you. You just seem dumb acting weird when she's chilled.

Don't try to prove that you're accepting of her lifestyle

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Don't randomly bring up other gay friends that you have unless the story you're about to tell has something to do with the conversation you're having or their sexuality has some relevance to the topic at hand. Having gay friends isn't any indication of your open-mindedness if you consider them your gay friends and not just plain and simple friends. Eg. "my lesbian friend Sarah went to Vacca and she said it was great". Were you talking about First Friday? Is lesbian Sarah single or cool? If not, stop it.

Don't try to hook her up with someone if the only thing they have in common is being gay

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By calling one another friends, you're implying that you know one another better than most people do. Why not tap into this resource when trying to find a suitable partner for your friend? As sweet as the thought may be, why would you want to set your friend up with lesbian Sarah when you know that lesbian Sarah has hooked up with every butch woman in Pretoria, Boksburg AND Benoni? Surely you've taken note of your friend's interests and the type of women she's attracted to. Why then would you try to hook her up with the only lesbian you know even if she doesn't fit the criteria? What were you thinking? Two lesbians - just add water and you have a relationship?

NB* Don't think getting dressed in front of her will make her fall in love with you

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This is a problem I've dealt with recently and I find it particularly offensive. This applies to breeder females.

 

Most girls think that getting dressed in front of a lesbian is like getting dresssed in front of a guy. It's not. Guys are dumb and are easily seduced by flesh. You need to remember that she's your friend and she's been around for all the stupid things you've done and she's seen you make a fool of yourself. Under these conditions, the only thing that can be cultured is love 'cause sexual desire can't survive the harsh desert that is looking beyond the dumb things you've done together. Even in your underwear, you're still the silly who walked into a glass sliding door while picking her nose. Besides, if you spend a lot of time with someone, you start to see their personality and not their looks. I could very well have ugly friends but I wouldn't know 'cause they're lovely people. So if you usually strip down to your knickers in front of your friends, don't change your routine when she's around. Don't stand in the corner of her room trying to get dressed under your towel, take your bag into the bathroom before you shower and come out dressed to avoid exposing your ignorance. Don't be awkward, you're embarrssing yourself and completely undermining her human dignity. What kind of animal do you think she is that she sees you as a collection of body parts and not Emily, the girl she's laughed and cried with, the girl who takes notes for her when she's sick, the girl who has a crush on the biggest jock on campus? Furthermore, what are you implying when you feel uncomfortable getting dressed in front of her? Do you think she'd mount you just 'cause she caught a glimpse of your thigh? Do you find yourself so attractive that you think the sight of you in a towel with damp hair will cause her to leave her girlfriend and pursue you? Are you really that stupid? Maybe you should excuse yourself from her life and only come back once you've matured. On the other hand, don't get naked to prove that you have complete faith in her sensibility. That isn't okay. What is she supposed to say? Your body's hanging out and she'll probably look over in pure shock. Then what? Unless that's just one of those things that you do, refrain.

Don't push your breeder agenda

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Every so often someone will tell me that they think they met the perfect guy for me. Obviously these people aren't friends of mine or they'd know better. You are allowed the dignity of living your life free of judgement, shouldn't you grant the gays around you the same freedom? If your questions are coming from a place of genuine curiosity, ask them. Don't ask her how she knows she's lesbian if she's never been with a guy. Don't tell her to try it out to make sure she isn't mistaken. Don't tell her about Steve from your gym and how great they'd be together. Has she ever made you feel like rotten fruit 'cause you're straight? A real friend supports you even when they don't fully understand.
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Don't consider her an opportunity to experiment

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She may be a very intriguing creature and you may find that through learning more about her and her views, the thought of being with another woman no longer seems so strange to you. This is great, you're growing as a person. You may find yourself very curious but too scared to ever do anything about it in case you catch a case of the gays. Don't think she's the solution to your problem. She isn't. Life isn't a science lab and you can't toy with people whenever you're curious. Don't try to kiss her when you're drunk and think it'll be a thing of the past come morning. There are many women out there willing to play your game, don't compromise your friendship over something so silly. One or both of you could hurt and there's no recovering from that. Is it worth it?
If any of these pointers actually helped you, it's time reassess who you are in your private capacity. We should all be able to interact harmoniously. If you call someone your friend, you should respect them as a human being and treat them with care and dignity. Being gay isn't easy in a world full of intolerance and friends and family are supposed to be hope that society can change. Our realities differ, but our love for one another shouldn't. If you don't have what it takes to stand up and say your friend who's gay is still your friend, that's okay. But understand that you can't be friends with someone if you only like certain things about them and not the entire package.

Xoxo

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“You know what really scares me? I liked being fucked up, now more than ever. Is that a kid thing or a family thing?”

- Becca -
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Are relationships really worth it?

Yes (8 | 35%)
No (15 | 65%)
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I wish I could clone Whitney from "The Real L Word". She does all the things that I like. Her dreads are amazing - because they're clean. Piercings, tats - I wouldn't be able to walk away. My version wouldn't be a douche though. And she'd be smarter, maybe even well-spoken - if her DNA wouldn't curdle.
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Kreayshawn is my latest obsession!The cutest pocket white girl ever and she's mad gangsta, son! I love her!
More of my favourite gangsta white bitch, Kreayshawn. I love her. I hope you love her too!
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I'm here, I'm queer, buy me a drink
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