I could talk about myself all day, but I won't.

My niece is my best friend and the owner of my heart
I love animals
I abhor meat-eaters
I like to lick a little bit 'o labia - courtesy of Lizzy the lezzy
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A magic carpet ride.

I've added a new section at the bottom of every feature for comments. Use them. You're allowed to vote too. Get involved. I insist.

I'm trying to be a real lawyer so I might not have the time to keep you as entertained as I usually do. Be fair! I'm just a little boy!
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Ellen played a bit of YouTube video that rocked my world. I had to investigate her and share my findings. I think she's the coolest chick alive and my future ex-wife. She goes by Karmin on YouTube, but Ellen called her Amy. Whatever her name is, she's talented.

How many sexual partners does it take to root you firmly in whore territory?

More than your age (10 | 55%)
Over 20 (5 | 28%)
Over 10 (3 | 17%)
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"It's a little bit horrifying just how quickly everything can fall to crap. Sometimes, it takes a huge loss to remind you of what you care about the most. Sometimes, you find yourself becoming stronger as a result, wiser, better equipped to deal with the next big disaster that comes along. Sometimes, but not always."



- Meredith -
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Oprah ruined my fun game. That bitch. I'm joking. Some housewife could shank me for saying that. LOVE Oprah. This is Lea T, the world's first tranny supermodel. She's really hot - if we disregard the whole penis thing.
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You know the deal

Manish girl (5 | 28%)
Girly boy (13 | 72%)
In this modern world of alternative lifestyles and tortured souls, the integrity of the lesbian community has been compromised. Long gone are the days when you could easily identify a lesbian in a crowd. Now, it's all a guessing game - unless she's particularly butch or hits on you. So I've compiled a list of tips to help those without gaydars spot a member of the species Clitoris Lesbianus. This could get you out of a tricky situation or into one, depending on your preference. Obviously, these tips apply to young lesbians. Over 35 and you're on your own. Oh, the femmes of the species look like breeder females so I've chosen to overlook them.
Hair
Long-haired lady lovers are tricky to spot. If I'm not sure whether I've stumbled upon one of them or an innocent breeder, I flirt with her. Don't do that, unless you have every intention of following it through. Clitoris Lesbianus prefer their hair short as it makes them aerodynamic which assists hunting greatly. The styles range from standard pixie cuts to mohawks to boyish cuts that are long in the front and shorter on the sides and back. Emo kids have very similar hair, but they usually have sullen expressions and cuts on their arms - not too difficult to tell them apart.The black members of the species wear their hair in dreadlocks or are bald or some degree of bald.
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This borders on emo territory so squeeze her boob and see how she responds. Kidding!
This borders on emo territory so squeeze her boob and see how she responds. Kidding!
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Nails
No lesbian has long nails. At least not one who's having sex. Okay, maybe the sadists. But then she's really evil. Scary thought. OUCH! So get close enough to check the hands of your Clitoris Lesbianus, but not close enough for her to use them on you. Unless that's what you want. They do believe in nail polish as it attracts mates, the way flowers attract bees. But, should there be sparkly things that rise off the surface of her nails, you're dealing with a breeder. No lesbian, in her right mind, would risk leaving things behind in someone. Again, the sadists are the exception. Bloody sadists!
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Danger!
Danger!
Shoes
Way back when, Clitoris Lesbianus wore chunky boots as their prefered footwear. This was to equal the playing field between them and their male counterparts. Also, someone in the relationship has to squash the spiders. Think about it. Now, they prefer Converse All Stars. This is mostly as they are light weight and easy on the eye so they attract prey (they come in a variety of colours: flower-bee effect) and are easy to hunt in. Their double function gives more bang for their buck. Literally.
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Pretty colours!
Pretty colours!
Clothes
Members of Clitoris Lesbianus wear T-shirts/shirts and skinny jeans. Usually from the men's section. They're also quite partial to cargo pants. These types of trousers indicate that she's more likely to want to touch you first rather than be the passive partner. It's all science, trust me. They usually wear sports bras, regardless of the size of their breasts. This, too, is to be aerodynamic for hunting. They believe ties can be formal and informal, even worn with T-shirts. They wear beanies and other hats to appear mysterious and to hide sex-hair.
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Piercings
Women, like fish, are attracted to shiny things. This is why Clitoris Lesbianus are pierced. Typical piercing are lip rings, tongue rings and brow rings. These help set them apart from other species. They usually are found in sets, although the more hardcore of the species have the trifecta. If she has a tongue and a lip ring, she's lesbian or oblivious. Must suck to a breeder who's pierced and reaps none of the benefits. Said benefits will not be discussed. We all know the purpose of a tongue ring.
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If you spot a woman who's a combination of all these things, give her my number. Quickly! She's without a doubt as gay as the sun is bright.

I'm really too tired to give any more of my trade secrets away.

xoxo
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“You know what really scares me? I liked being fucked up, now more than ever. Is that a kid thing or a family thing?”

- Becca -
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Are relationships really worth it?

Yes (8 | 35%)
No (15 | 65%)
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I wish I could clone Whitney from "The Real L Word". She does all the things that I like. Her dreads are amazing - because they're clean. Piercings, tats - I wouldn't be able to walk away. My version wouldn't be a douche though. And she'd be smarter, maybe even well-spoken - if her DNA wouldn't curdle.
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Kreayshawn is my latest obsession!The cutest pocket white girl ever and she's mad gangsta, son! I love her!
More of my favourite gangsta white bitch, Kreayshawn. I love her. I hope you love her too!
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I'm here, I'm queer, buy me a drink
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